July 10, 1997 - The Fine Art of Sleeping

970710 - Woke up @ 0230. Went back to sleep in the head until chow and after chow slept between the racks until 0645. Went to work @ 0700. Mowed until chow. After chow, we slept 45 minutes and mowed until 1500. We then cooled off and relaxed in the office until 1530 when we came back here. Tonight I probably won't have to work chow hall duty which is good. I'm kind of sore but not too tired. Today for noon chow I ate steak and fried shrimp. 50 days left.

I said earlier that I was an expert in sleeping in class. Well, during the Mess and Maintenance Week, I turned sleeping into an art form.

Those poor, eligible-for-mess-hall-duty recruits must have had some very difficult days during this week, what with waking up at 2:30am and working pretty much all day until 6:30pm. The rest of us, however, had challenges of our own. For example: how do you sleep after the 0230 wake-up call without getting caught?

This journal entry describes two different techniques for sleeping without being detected. The first, and more obvious one is in the head. For this method, you simply go to the bathroom, sit on a toilet, and go to sleep. There are some problems with this method, however.

1. It's not particularly comfortable. sitting on the toilet for too long is a sure-fire way to make your legs fall asleep (not to mention possibly causing hemorrhoids), and getting up quickly when a Drill Instructor thinks he's caught you is all the more difficult when your lower half is still asleep.
2. In the Weapons Battalion squad bays, toilets were in an open room. That means that there were no walls separating the toilets. This was a problem because (a) it meant no wall to lean on to sleep, and (b) it meant you were more exposed to detection from the Drill Instructor. (We won't get into the problems raised by actually using the toilet when there were no walls. Suffice it to say, I got very good at waking myself up in the middle of the night just to use the bathroom with some semblance of privacy)
3. Since it was the most obvious method, it was also the most popular. That meant that there were often no toilets available, as other recruits had already laid claim to the seats.
4. Also because it was obvious, it was typically the first place checked by the Drill Instructors, and therefore a good place to take a nap if you wanted to be woken up with a trip to the quarterdeck.

The second method that I employed was one that I discovered on my own. It's perfect for its simplicity as well as its relative comfort, and I believe it's what sets me apart as a true Master's-Level nap-stealer.

After morning chow, while we were all waiting to head to our various maintenance jobs, the Drill Instructors told us all to square away the squad bay. This meant that we were to sweep, line up the footlockers, and above all, tighten the racks. This means that we were to tuck and re-tuck the sheets and blankets so that the beds were all made uniformly and with Marine Corps precision. This practice involved tucking the blankets as tightly under the mattresses as possible. 

That's how I found my perfect napping position.

I would lay down on the deck, just next to a rack, with my legs toward the center of the squad bay and my head just barely under the rack. I would then wedge my hands in between the mattress and the rack. 

And then, I would sleep.

If a Drill Instructor came around, I would "continue" tucking in the blanket and then move on to the next rack. The Drill Instructor would usually stop and stare at me, thinking that I was taking this whole "rack-making" business a bit too seriously, and then move on. 

It was the perfect, victimless crime.